What they really mean.
- Competitive salary
(We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.) - Join our fast-paced company!
(We have no time to train you.) - Casual work atmosphere
(We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.) - Some overtime required
(Some every night and some every weekend.) - Duties will vary
(Anyone in the office can boss you around.) - Must have an eye for detail
(We have no quality assurance.) - Career-minded
(Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).) - Apply in person
(If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told that the position has been filled.) - Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience
(You’ll need it to replace the three people who just quit.) - Problem-solving skills a must
(You’re walking into perpetual chaos.) - Requires team leadership skills
(You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.) - Good communication skills
(Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.)
You know it’s all true!