BBC Three’s Shoplife : Episode 5

Episode 5 aired on Thursday evening and was another non-useful insight into the world of people who work at the MetroCentre. What I mean by “insight into the world of people who work at the MetroCentre” is that the show will spend more time in London, at their houses, in Bijoux & generally everywhere but the MetroCentre.

Sadly, the champagne bar was not featured again this week, instead we were given the following insights;

  • Joey loves Paris after just 2 weeks.
  • Justine (Joey’s Mam) is proud of him.
  • Tom does not like peeling glue off of shelves.
  • Joey’s Mam knows Paris’ favourite food.
  • Emma the hairdresser is not very good at Geography.
  • Degree’s are useless.
  • Paris cries easily.
  • Tom could be at risk of hearing loss.
  • Shelley (!?) got a promotion.
  • Joey’s Mam cried as Joey is moving out.

It’s the last in the series on Thursday. According to the trailer we meet someone from Poundland. Can’t wait.

BBC Three’s Shoplife : Episode 2

Briefly put, episode 2 aired last night and covered;

  • Hoovering skills
  • Champagne
  • Edward Scissorhands
  • Romance
  • Long Days
  • Religious Shirt Undoing
  • Job advice
  • Dating
  • And anger

So pretty standard. Listen to the best bits below, as heard on NE1fm 102.5 Saturdays at 1:30 on the Dan Pye Show.

The social commentary went down a storm as per usual and if you like what you read on Twitter @kevatkinson look out at 9pm Thursday for the next batch of social commentary.

BBC Three’s Shoplife

BBC Three have a new TV show about the MetroCentre – it’s called Shoplife. Read about, and watch it here.

I’m the self-elected social commentator for the show – as approved by BBC Three in this tweet;

In my self elected role I’ll tell you what real Geordies think of what the show is pushing. What’s real, what’s clearly fake. Many of my tweets this evening were RTd or favourited, or both – even from stars of the show. So clearly the public like what I’m saying. No malice, just observation and what I like to call #realtalk. I’ll also be discussing the show on The Dan Pye Show on Newcastle’s NE1fm 102.5 – Saturdays from 12pm.

In episode 1 I made the following observations;

  • The sountrack has been dubbed off of a Geordie Shore episode.
  • The only people ever at the Champagne bar are MetroCentre staff.
  • Lots of filler film was taken on a broken camera, it was all blurry. (I know, it’s deliberate)
  • Doughnut John is one of a kind. He has (what I suspect is) blue colouring in his hair, off of the doughnuts.
  • You only need a 3 to 5 scene montage to go from a ‘wannabe’ model to being a catwalk model.
  • If you tell people on the telly where there is no CCTV – there’ll probably be CCTV there imminently.

Stuff I want to see in episode 2;

  • Generic security guard #5 addressing the constant queues at the ATM outside of Santander, near McDonalds.
  • A health and safety risk assessment being carried out by a centre manager on those portable trampoline things.
  • Overworked Namco engineer #3 who can’t fix a problem with an arcade machine.

Ant and Dec also (did not) comment on the show.

See you next week on Twitter @kevatkinson  – 9pm for more social commentary.