Job Advertisements

What they really mean.

  • Competitive salary
    (We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.)
  • Join our fast-paced company!
    (We have no time to train you.)
  • Casual work atmosphere
    (We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.)
  • Some overtime required
    (Some every night and some every weekend.)
  • Duties will vary
    (Anyone in the office can boss you around.)
  • Must have an eye for detail
    (We have no quality assurance.)
  • Career-minded
    (Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).)
  • Apply in person
    (If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told that the position has been filled.)
  • Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience
    (You’ll need it to replace the three people who just quit.)
  • Problem-solving skills a must
    (You’re walking into perpetual chaos.)
  • Requires team leadership skills
    (You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.)
  • Good communication skills
    (Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.)

You know it’s all true!